Thud. Mac-Thud. (macthud) wrote,
Thud. Mac-Thud.

bucket of suck

could I have this day back, so I can try again? even if I don't get to remember what would then be the future? I came so close....

if the answer's yes, how about the last couple months?

if that's a yes, I've got to ask for 6 months, a year...

I think I'd be happy enough with a total rewind of about 18 months.

not that there weren't mistakes before that, but the really big ones that I can't seem to get out from under, and can't seem to stop making worse... they started about then.

not that there haven't been good things within those months. many of them. but...

for years, I said that I wouldn't go back to start if given the chance, because I valued where I'd grown to.

I'm not feeling that anymore.

I very much hope I will again, but... those hopes are feeling slim at the moment.


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